


If All Fallen Angels Must Climb Back To Earth

by astrangerfate, orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-10-31
Updated: 2009-10-31
Packaged: 2017-10-22 18:35:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/241238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrangerfate/pseuds/astrangerfate, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I am very… cold,” he says, taking a deep breath. He’s aware of how heavily his chest rises and falls. His heart beats in his ears and his throat. This, then, is humanity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If All Fallen Angels Must Climb Back To Earth

**Author's Note:**

> This was to fulfill the prompt "sensation play" on a Kink Bingo card. A friend suggested Castiel becoming human. I have no explanations as to why Castiel is a fully-grown (naked) man. Just go with it, it's smut.
> 
> As always, I own nothing, make no money, and mean no harm.

“Be not afraid,” Anna says, her smile somewhere between gentle and ironic, and Castiel shivers at the words. He’s used them often enough himself, always underestimating how much capacity humans had for _feeling_.

“I am very… cold,” he says, taking a deep breath. He’s aware of how heavily his chest rises and falls. His heart beats in his ears and his throat. This, then, is humanity.

Anna understands, he knows. She moves closer to him. _Coldness_ has connotations of loneliness. Castiel has always previously understood it to mean _the absence of God._ And Anna must understand that too, because she moves closer, placing one hand on his chest. His skin tingles as he feels her fingers, warm against his flesh.

“That was an incredible gift,” Anna says, palm pressed to his heart. Her eyes search him without judgment.

He swallows. He is… vulnerable to her touch. “I feel that I don’t know how to be human,” he says carefully, but the better word might have been _fear_ after all.

Anna shakes her head, her smile kinder now. “No, Cas,” she says. “You already know much more of that than many humans.”

His mouth is still dry. Anna is too close and yet part of him (treacherous, emotional, human) wants her closer. “It’s too much,” he says, his voice harsh to his own ears. “My skin – my thoughts – ”

“It’s normal,” Anna tells him. Always a step ahead. “The awareness will diminish with time, but it will always be a part of you.”

Castiel frowns. He is lost in this world, this rush of emotion. “I don’t know how to manage it,” he admits, looking down the length of his body. Anna’s small palm is still planted on his skin, her slender fingers tracing circles near his collarbone. Farther down, there’s a growing ache. While not unpleasant, it is persistent, and growing more intense. “It nearly burns.”

Anna lets her hand travel slowly down his chest, circling around his left hip. “I can help you if you want me to,” she says, and in her eyes he sees nothing but honesty.

Temptation. He never imagined it would come so soon, and yet he is unsurprised.

“It’s not a test, Cas,” Anna says, once again fully aware of his thoughts. In a way, it is comforting. “Nobody is watching, waiting for you to fail. You’ve already given up your grace.”

There are no directives. And there is nothing left to lose.

Castiel has nowhere else to turn. His hand extends shakily, and he touches her cheek lightly. It’s soft against his fingers. “Show me,” he requests, aware that this is an action that cannot be undone.

Anna wraps her own hands behind Castiel, pulling him in closer. “Are you sure?” she breathes, her whisper tickling his ear.

“Yes.” It’s time to learn to be human.

Anna nods. “Don’t worry about a thing,” she tells him, her hair brushing against his jawbone as she seems to almost melt into his skin.

He stiffens, reaching behind to brace himself against the wall as Anna’s warm mouth closes on his neck. Her tongue slides slowly across his skin, the initial damp heat giving way to a rougher feel that sets every inch of his body tingling.

“I don’t know –” he starts roughly, but she shakes her head, murmurs soothing sounds into his chest.

“It’s all right, Cas,” she promises, pressing a kiss to his nipple. “Nobody expects so much for your first time. Just relax and let me take care of you.”

Castiel is anything but relaxed, his body too constricting, too tight and too powerful. He can’t seem to detach from the surge of feeling, the way Anna’s tongue swirls lower and lower, and the hot flush spreading through his veins.

“Shhh,” Anna murmurs again, sensing his tension. “Breathe.”

He knows he’s supposed to breathe, to let Anna take control, but he can’t. It isn’t as if he doesn’t want this – every fiber of his being assures him that he does – but he can’t seem to leave behind this heightened awareness. This _feeling._

“Yes,” he responds instead, unsure, and he wills himself to submit to Anna’s touches. If he can trust anyone…

Her head dips lower and she sinks to her knees, wrapping her hands behind him to clasp his hips. He shudders into her grip, jerking forward almost automatically, and then her mouth descends.

It’s unlike anything Castiel has ever experienced, and he suddenly seems to understand some of humanity’s more salacious vices. His hips thrust against his will, pushing deeper into Anna’s mouth, feeling the warmth and wetness almost too much to bear.

His breath is coming in stilted gasps that are somehow unfamiliar, and he clenches his eyes shut as Anna _sucks_ and draws what feels like his life force from him.

And for one moment, everything makes sense. The heights of feeling in his body and his mind harmonize for the first time since he left Heaven. Instead of being one with the divine plan, he is one with the earth.

Castiel is exhausted when he comes back to himself, slumped against the wall, legs unstable. Anna is on her feet again, smiling wisdom at him from kind eyes.

“You can see, being human isn’t really so bad,” she says gently, and he nods, unsure of his tongue.

“We should find you some clothes,” she says after a minute, but neither of them moves. Castiel knows that they can’t stay here forever, stagnated in a moment where humanity almost makes sense, but he wishes they could.

For one night, he would like to forget that the Apocalypse is waging and they have angels and demons on their heels. For one night, he would like to stop worrying about the Winchesters and the end of this world. Just for tonight, he feels as though he has earned a moment of safety.

He doesn’t speak aloud, but Anna nods, rests her head on his shoulder. “Tomorrow,” she whispers, and that has to be good enough.

**Author's Note:**

> ...or, as my head cheerleader said after reading it, "They've waited so long to get it, now Cas is like "I FELL AND GOT A BLOWJOB WITHIN MINUTES!""


End file.
